


Janus

by F00PY



Series: Analogical Hogwarts [16]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Everyone is nervous for Janus, First Full Moon, First Kiss, Gen, Genius! Logan, Getting Together, Harry potter verse, Hogwarts AU, Hufflepuff! Patton, Janus is a mess, M/M, Patton scares away owls because he's a mess, Ravenclaw! Logan, Ravenclaw! Virgil, Self-hatred thoughts, Shrieking Shack, Slytherin! Janus, Sort of intrusive thoughts, They distract themselves with cats, Virgil spends a lot of time spiralling, Werewolf, barely edited, whomping willow - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28579653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/F00PY/pseuds/F00PY
Summary: They had been in the owlery for less than ten minutes before Patton somehow scared every single owl from him and had taken to running in circles and crying that nobody loved him.“What do you suggest now?” Virgil had muttered to Logan while doing his best to hold up the sobbing Patton (who had latched onto him the moment Virgil stood up and suggested they take a break). “We could go scare all the pigeons away.”Logan just shoved his glasses up his nose. “Cats.”
Relationships: Analogical - Relationship, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, mociet
Series: Analogical Hogwarts [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1954183
Comments: 10
Kudos: 119





	Janus

Patton, Logan, and Virgil sat in a circle on the floor in the library with about twenty cats swarming them.

Logan held a book in his hands, but Virgil could tell he wasn’t actually reading it. His eyes, which usually read at such speeds that you could see them traveling down the page hadn’t moved in the past five minutes- and neither had the pages. Now and then he would glance up at the clock, shake his head, and then go back to staring blank-eyed at the book in his hands.

He wasn’t who the one Virgil kept glancing at though.

That title belonged to the Hufflepuff across from him.

Patton hadn’t stopped moving since Janus disappeared. First, he had brought everyone a cup of tea, which both Virgil and Logan appreciated, to begin with.

By the fifth cup of tea, however, Virgil had all but begged the Hufflepuff to stop while Logan had wryly suggested that Patton should pet the owls to calm down.

They had been in the owlery for less than ten minutes before Patton somehow scared every single owl from him and had taken to running in circles and crying that nobody loved him.

“What do you suggest now?” Virgil had muttered to Logan while doing his best to hold up the sobbing Patton (who had latched onto him the moment Virgil stood up and suggested they take a break). “We could go scare all the pigeons away.”

Logan just shoved his glasses up his nose. “Cats.”

And Patton had perked up.

So now they were here.

In the library.

Pretending that Madam Pince wasn’t planning on killing them in their sleep for bringing cats into the library (which was technically allowed but generally frowned upon).

“I can’t believe your plan was cats,” Virgil muttered at his boyfriend. “What if he scares them all away?”

“I’m sure he won’t.”

“He scared all the owls away with aggressive petting.”

Logan paused, glanced up from his book at the Hufflepuff, and then back down again. “True. Let me amend my statement. I’m 82.3% sure he won’t.”

“Are you sure it’s not 82.4?” Virgil teased gently. “Make sure you’re precise here.”

Logan gave him a look and Virgil leaned forward, pressing a featherlight kiss right to the tip of his nose. The fluttering in his own stomach at such a move vanished instantly when he noticed the way Logan just blinked at him afterward, mouth hanging slightly open.

“Yes?” Virgil asked sweetly.

“You’re-you’re aware-”

Virgil built up the remainder of his courage, reminded himself that Logan himself had said no matter what Virgil did he would find it adorable, and pressed another two feather-light kisses on each of his boyfriend’s warm cheeks.

_Stay cool. If you break, he’ll stop blushing and he’s beautiful when he’s blushing._

_So you need to stay cool._

Logan swallowed. “You’re nervous-”

“Way to state the obvious-”

“-and you’re distracting yourself by playing with me.”

Virgil’s smile fell slightly.

“You are more than welcome too,” Logan added quickly. The book fell onto the floor and Logan reached out to grab Virgil’s hands.   
“Distractions can be a very healthy way to deal with stress, especially when it's something you can’t change- so long as you don’t overdo it.” 

“Is that why you gave Patton cats?”

“Yes. Although, I would’ve gone with a different animal had I known he was allergic. It’s a pity the owls didn’t work out.”

Virgil blinked.

He blinked again.

“He’s allergic?”

Logan nodded. “In the past thirty minutes, he’s itched his eyes an average of twice a minute, sneezed a total of 12 times, and has had a coughing fit 6 times. I don’t believe it’ll do much more than bother him for a couple of hours but I’ve been ready just in case he stops breathing.”

Virgil stared at him. 

Images of Patton suddenly flopping over, clawing at his throat, entire face going red and puffy filled his mind and his insides clenched. Before he knew what he was doing he was going to get up from the ground, making plans on how to get Patton away from the fearsome tiny tigers and to the nearest bathroom where he could wash off the deadly hairs.

Logan pulled him back down.

“Patton is 15 years old,” he informed him. “If cats were deadly, he wouldn’t be petting them.”

“But-”

“Patton!” Logan called.

Instantly the Hufflepuff turned, a large and incredibly fake smile blooming on his lips. “Yeah?”

“Are you allergic to cats?”

“Oh yes!” Patton clapped his hands and then instantly put them on one of the kitties in his lap. “I’ll have to take allergy medicine from Madam Pomfrey or I won’t be able to sleep tonight!”

“Then you should put them down!” Virgil got to his feet. “If they hurt you-”

“But wook at their cutesy whittle faces.” Patton held one of them up like Simba and stuck his nose into their forehead. “Who’s the bestest kitty in the whole wide world? You are! You are! Awwwwww…”

Virgil spun on Logan, about to ask his genius for backup- when he noticed the way Logan had tensed. 

Slowly, Virgil turned to look at the large ticking clock in the corner and swallowed. His hands tingled slightly and he had to remind himself how to breathe.

They had exactly thirty minutes before Janus would turn back into a human for the first time in his werewolf life.

Logan closed his book with a firm snap and placed it on a random library table nearby. He and Virgil met eyes and Virgil gave a quiet nod before striding over to Patton and offering a hand.

The Hufflepuff had frozen up, staring blankly at the meowing felines in his lap. 

“Come on,” Virgil said gently. “We’re going to be late.”

Like a hurt wild animal being coaxed towards food, Patton slowly pushed the cats out of his lap and grabbed it. Virgil hauled his friend up and neither of them dropped hands as they made their way over to Logan (who at this point had gotten to his feet).

Without saying anything, the three of them made their way out of the school and towards the whomping willow. By late November, most of the leaves had fallen off of the great tree, although many still clung onto it (Virgil could practically hear Logan voice telling him that weeping willows were among the last to lose their leaves), waiting for the last bit of life to leave their bodies.

“So how do we get in?” Virgil asked.

Logan glanced at him. “We can’t go in. Even if Janus is harmless right now, it would freak the wolf out. We’ve still got-” his eyes took on that glazed narrowed look- “34 seconds before we can start-”

“ _When_ 34 seconds are up,” Virgil interrupted. “How do we get in? The Whomping Willow… whomps people.”

Patton nodded seriously. “It's in the name.”

“Oh, that’s easy.” Logan removed his wand. “I just use the Impediment Jinx on it, which should last for approximately 30 seconds, and we run by the slowed tree and dive into that hole right there.” He pointed at what appeared to be a piece of solid wood.

Virgil wondered whether decking his boyfriend would be considered rude.

“Right.” He nodded. “We’re going to die.”

“Well yes, we all die someday.”

Virgil glared at him and a quiet “oh” passed over Logan’s face. He quickly shifted his features into something much softer and under normal circumstances, Virgil might’ve laughed at the sweetness of it.

But normal circumstances didn’t have his best friend and foster brother locked in a murder tree, about to deal with a range of emotions after being forced into a lifeless wolf body.

“Right.” Logan held his wand right out in front of him and his eyes zeroed in on the spot of the solid tree they would be diving into. “Everyone ready?”

Virgil gulped and his eyes clenched together. 

He was going to run a murderous tree known for smacking anything that got too close to it.

Virgil’s stomach turned over, insides pushing up against a single piece of toast that he had been dumb enough to eat for breakfast and making it zing against the back of his throat. Swallowing against the burn, Virgil kept his eyes fixed on the tree and licked his lips.

He was going to dive at the tree’s trunk because his genius and probably sleep deprived boyfriend said that there was a secret door there.

Harsh and angry pangs thudded in his chest, so loudly Virgil was sure that both Logan and the boy attached to his hand could hear it. With the hand not holding Patton’s, he wiped the sweat off of his brow.

He was going to enter somewhere they knew for _sure_ a werewolf was, under the assumption that the moon charts were right and Janus was probably a human by the time they made it through the tunnel they assumed existed that led to the Shrieking Shack.

Okay.

Okay.

They were definitely going to die.

“I’m ready,” Virgil said firmly.

“Hi, Ready, I’m Patton.”

Logan gave an audible groan as both he and Virgil turned to glance at Patton. 

Patton just wiggled his eyebrows. “Eh? Ehhhhh?”

To Virgil’s surprise, Logan’s face softened slightly. It was only a second after that Virgil realized the reason his Ravenclaw hadn’t given Patton more a grilling was because Logan had seen that Patton had made that joke, not for them, but to calm the harsh trembling that shook the Hufflepuff’s entire body.

It was an odd feeling, to have your heart pound, break, and melt all at the same time but Virgil was very used to confusing emotions so he decided to take it in stride.

“Okay.” Logan pointed his wand directly at the tree. “ _Impedimenta!_ ”

He took a large step forward and Virgil held his breath, ready to drop Patton’s hand and dive-bomb his nerd to the floor at a moment’s notice. However, as Logan had said, the tree moved at comically slow speeds. 

By the time all three of them made it to the solid bark Logan claimed was a door, the branch that had been aiming for Logan the first time around had barely even touched the ground where he had been standing.

“Where’s the door?!” Virgil asked frantically. He clenched down on Patton’s hand and then instantly released, hoping he hadn’t hurt his friend too badly. “Sorry, Pat- L, we only like ten seconds left before we get pummeled and die, and I’m not ready to die yet, plus all of the teachers will know we died breaking in and failing- in fact everyone-”

“Don’t spiral,” Logan interrupted gently. “I’m going to shove you in.”

“What-”

Virgil didn’t have time to say much else before he was falling through a gap in the roots and slid down an earthy slope with Patton right behind him. They landed in a large tunnel, Logan not a few seconds after.

“ _Lumos._ ”

With a flick of his wand, Logan lit the tunnel around him. He held it out in front of them and shoved his glasses up with the other hand.

“Shall we?”

Virgil swallowed. “If we have to.”

Patton nodded. “Let’s go.”

The pathway was long and winding and Virgil spent the entire time trying (and failing) not to think.

He wondered if it would be worse to find Janus still in wolf form or having turned back into a human.

He wondered if it would be worse if Janus said everything was fine or if Janus said he felt okay.

Patton’s hand on his had gradually gotten tighter around Virgil’s and he could feel the separate bones in his fingers squash together awkwardly with each step they took. Still, Virgil bore it. If Patton ended up breaking Virgil’s hand it could still be healed with a simple swish of Madam Pomfrey’s wand- emotions couldn’t.

Eventually, they reached a dim patch of light with a small opening. Patton went to step in- when Virgil tugged him back and shook his head.

Even if they hadn’t heard the wolf yet, they also hadn’t heard Janus. They couldn’t just go barging in-

Without any kind of warning, Logan stepped through the hole.

Virgil closed his eyes and let out a very long very heavy sigh.

He was going to kill him.

Patton pulled the two of them in after and even as Virgil allowed himself to be tugged forward he quietly went through every single defense spell he knew and what order he would have to fire them in to not hurt Janus while keeping everyone safe.

All of that thought was cut off by the sound of crying.

They had entered a disordered dusty room. Any object in it, furniture, wallpaper, etc, was broken in one shape or form, either torn or missing entire chunks. The only thing that hadn’t been destroyed were large wooden planks carefully covering any light that might escape from the windows.

None of that mattered. Not when sitting in the chair farthest from them, head in his hands and entire body shaking, was Janus.

His normally straight and well-brushed red hair was a complete mess around his head. Clothes dripped off of him, clearly thrown back on in a rush, barely covering his body, and not at all done to the usual standard Janus held himself to. His entire body trembled and every now and then he would let out a gut-wrenching cry that tore Virgil’s heart into pieces.

“Jan… Janie?”

Janus started, hand falling to pull out his wand. When he noticed the three of them standing there, his first instinct was not, as Virgil's would be, to put his wand away, but instead to raise it and shout;

“Get out!”

Patton dropped Virgil’s hand and took a cautious step forward. “Are you alright?”

“I’m _fine,_ ” Janus hissed. He pulled his robes tighter around himself. “ _I’m fine._ Get out.”

This… 

This was worse than Virgil had pictured.

So so much worse.

He didn’t want to just leave but he also didn’t want to stay and make Janus feel uncomfortable. All he could find it in himself to do was watch as Patton slowly took another step forward and Janus’s wand pivoted to the Hufflepuff.

“Get. Out. I’m fine. I’ll see you later.” Janus ran his gaze over the three of them. “How did you even know where I was anyway?”

Logan opened his mouth.

“Nevermind.” Janus's hand shook and a tear slipped down his cheek. He brushed it away furiously, wand remaining up. “You got to see where I live as a w-wolf, now _leave._ ”

Logan didn’t seem to know what to do with himself. Virgil watched him glance over at Patton (who continued his cautious slide over to the Slytherin) and then back at Janus just snarled at him in response.

“Patton,” Logan said quietly, “Virgil and I will meet you both at the library. I have something I’ve been thinking about and I need your opinion on it.”

Virgil glanced at Logan, trying to convey his thoughts with his body language. It was a little something he called _What the fuck am I doing?_ and yet somehow it worked about 95% of the time.

_Shouldn’t we help?_

The problem, of course, with speaking directly to Logan’s ability to infer things instead of out loud was that Virgil did not have that ability so he was left looking like an idiot when Logan didn’t really respond.

But Logan just stepped back into the tunnel and out of the room, leaving Patton and Janus behind. The moment Janus couldn’t see him, Virgil wiped his eyes against his sleeve and shook his head.

“We have to help him,” he told Logan. “There has to be a way to make that better for him. I know the potion keeps him calm but it clearly doesn’t do enough.”

Logan shoved his glasses up his nose.”I do have an idea I believe we could accomplish, though it does come with its own set of issues.”

“What is it?”

“Do you remember what animagi are?”

Patton kept creeping forward. 

“You should leave with them,” Janus snarled. “I’m fine. I’ll be back at Hogwarts in a minute.”

Patton’s chest hurt and it was difficult to keep the burning in his eyes behind them but he did his best to ignore both anyway, opting for another step towards his friend.

Towards the boy who had gradually become more of a friend over the past year.

Patton had met Janus in October of his 4th year- and Janus’s 3rd. Someone had been making fun of him for being transmale and claiming that he was actually a girl- and the 3rd year had just walked up to the person and said “Shut your mouth until it starts speaking an actual language instead of bullshit.”

And then they had become friends. Patton had gone to Hogsmeade with him, been introduced to both Logan and Virgil, and life had suddenly begun to look up.

It was around March last year that Patton realized he liked Janus in a _very_ different way than he liked Logan and Virgil. He noticed the way the sun would catch Janus’s hair a certain way, or the glimmer in the Slytherin’s eyes when he got excited over some philosopher.

To him, Janus was more than a friend.

He was the first person who wholefully accepted Patton as male, no questions asked.

He had introduced him to two other accepting friends.

He didn’t expect Patton to do anything but be himself.

He was important.

“I’m not leaving you,” Patton said gently. “You’re not okay.”

“I’m FINE!” Janus wrapped both arms around himself and his wand clattered to the floor. “It was fine…”

Patton stepped forward and wrapped his thin freckled arms around Janus’s torso. Instantly, Janus was falling forward, letting Patton pull him in close and letting out a loud broken sob that cleaved Patton's heart into two.

“You’re not okay,” Patton whispered. “And that’s okay, baby. That’s okay. But don’t lie to yourself, hmm?”

A tear that marked the beginning of a very long morning trailed down Patton’s face until soon the two of them were fully sobbing, Patton supporting Janus the entire time.

“It was aw-awful,” he whimpered. “It… I didn’t do any-anything. I just laid down and stayed still because of the potion but… I could smell any of the people passing-passing by and I wanted to attack them. I wanted to _eat_ them. And I-I was _upset_ I couldn’t!”

Patton pressed his wet face into Janus’s hair and said nothing, merely stroking up and down Janus’s back.

“I pictured all of it. Running down. Biting them. _Killing_ them. I…” Janus trembled. “I’m a monster.”

“Hey!” Patton let go of Janus’s chest to kneel in front of him, allowing himself to meet Janus’s eyes. “You. Are. No. Such. Thing.” he jabbed him in the chest with every word and glared pointedly at him. “You are my snuggly-puff-”

“What?”

“-and I will hear no such slander against you!”

To Patton’s delight, a tiny, incredibly confused smile made its way onto Janus’s face and he raised an eyebrow. “Snuggly-puff?”

“Say it!”

“What?”

“Say you aren’t a monster and that you’re my snuggly-puff!”

“I do not want to know what kind of kinks you’re into-”

“Say.” Patton jabbed him. “It.”

The smile fell away. “I… I don’t know if I can.”

“You will,” Patton told him. “Because I said so.”

Janus closed his eyes. He took a long deep breath and his hands curled into tight trembling fists that Patton instantly grabbed onto as a sign of silent support.

“I really can’t.”

“Now listen here bucko,” Patton started. “I know for a fact you’re not a monster. And you can’t argue facts.”

“Says who?”

“Says _me._ ”

Janus's eyes opened just to give Patton a bemused look. “Yeah?”  
“Yeah. I do. So say it.”

“What do I get if I do?” Janus asked. He sat back and crossed his arms over his chest, a bit of a grin on his face. “Your appreciation?”

Well.

It was easier to come up with something than Patton expected it to be.

“A kiss.”

Janus froze.

“That’s right Mr. Snuggly-Puff. Now get to it.” 

Patton’s heart pounded behind his ribcage and he was 100% positive that if he opened his mouth right now, butterflies would go flapping out of it. 

Before the panic could properly set in though, Janus's mouth had opened and he muttered, clearly enough that Patton could hear but quietly enough that had anyone else been in the room they would’ve missed it.

“I’m not a monster.”

His eyes fluttered shut right after and he took a large calming breath.

“Again.”

His voice was louder this time. “I’m not a monster.

Patton nodded. “Now the other part.”

A single eye opened. “What.”

“Say the whole thing.”

“I’m your snuggly-puff?”

Patton beamed at him and Janus just rolled his eyes, pulling away from Patton and tucking himself into his own arms.

“I scared Logan and Virgil away,” he mumbled.

“Nah,” Patton said. “Logan was the one who decided to leave. He probably read like, a twitch in your eyebrows that made him think leaving you in my hands was the best decision.” 

Janus’s watery smile reappeared and Patton’s heart leaped forward. 

“Now,” he said, “your reward?”


End file.
